A Day......ToDay

Got designated as "Product Evangelist" today...

D day started off on a sleepy note:) had slept pretty late last night....
had a meeting scheduled...followed by demo..
Suresh too was in town...was wishing the meeting got over soon..and we could catch up soon over a plate of Biryani for lunch:)
finally it got over...thanks to technical fault at clients end:)...
came out of the conference room....and got a surprise...
Yes...got designated as "Product Evangelist" and the letter too...
met up Prashanth,Kavita and Nitya too at paradise....this too was a surprise...
all in all a good afternoon...
still have many pending things to cover...and thts how was pretty occupied the later part of the day...
came back and shared the news with ma parents....great feeling...
now it calls for a cheers...but its pretty boring sipping a beer alone:(....but have to:)
half empty.....half to go....
good night...take care..
and yes..

Cheers!!!

Ipod Frozen....Heres an Remedy:)

My Ipod got frozen today....was bit scared..
but i found a way to get it back to singing....

Here's how i did....and also you can get ur ipod singing again if it is frozen......

Press both the Menu and Center buttons for about 6 seconds, until Apple logo appears....

:) hurrah!!

So true...Never cry for any Relation..

NEVER CRY FOR ANY RELATION IN LIFE

BECAUSE FOR THE ONE WHOM YOU CRY

DOES NOT DESERVE YOUR TEARS

AND THE ONE WHO DESERVES

WILL NEVER LET YOU CRY.....

from the full version.....posted 29th November 2006

Need someone who can listen to me.....

i keep on forming new ideas...to start something on my own...
one day i would do it...but one day...
i really need some one who would listen to my ideas....these days i do it speaking to myself....or share with few...but then i feel i should have rather done it with myself only...
I feel there is no one who understands me the way i want them to do...
Perhaps i am wrong...but thats the way i feel......unsupported altogether.

at times i feel there is really a need for some one with whom i could share and get support...
i did think...and did considered few with whom i could share and talk all the crap things in life....but now i realize....i have a void within my self....the void makes me feel empty from within...
i need more hellos....i don't like good byes...

I get angry at times....

I really get angry when someone doesn't seems to value or understand other's work and think they are smart...

Why M i Strange Like this???

I don't know why but I have a strange feeling within me.
And I dont know what exactly what that strange feeling is - apprehension, confusion, irritated, bugged, confused, lonely, hurt - Ok, just realised I was going through that many emotions.

Its also strange how everyday, I get a new reason - a new reason to think, to smile, to shed tears, wanting to be with friends... Guess, thats the way life is. Its been strange all throughtout these 2 months... strange in its own way...Actually strange!!

Actually, while sitting and typing this - I'm feeling strange again Hey Bhagwan!! How strange I AM!!

I like fried Momos...

I just had steamed momos......
But i like fried momos....

I don't Know why!!

Confused

...............about my surroundings!

Annoyed

..............with the happenings!

Drowning

....................with emotions...

Upsetting

.......................expectations.

Expecting (now)

...................actually nothing!

Believing

.......................in my left over strength...

Existing

.........................to be alive!

Happy

...............living life?

Surviving

......................I don't know why!......

Little things in life...

I was just wondering... little things are the things that matter to one, atleast to me , the most.
Its always a great feeling to get a call from your old friend, it gives me smile when I get a message from my close pal, or one of those gudnite messages from your close pals... its little things that actually matter..and I still dont know why material things hold so much importance in life - guess thats the priority and this is mine....

But, it also those little things that hurts one the most - well again, atleast to me. And I'm serious it does hurt....
Ever kept an expectation?....and it did meet?...wer'nt you happy at that moment?
Ever kept an expectation?...and it did not meet?.....it does hurt..is'nt it?...it does hurt a lot to me..

But at then end of the day - Isn't this life??

I guess its those moments of happiness and sadness that makes life what it is - and I've started to live it the way it is!

Those laughing out moments with your buddies, those moments when tears don't stop in that balcony....

those moments I always cherish.....the people I treasure to have in my life and my memories.....................

It just makes me think and then accept -

"life's worth living"....but its tough....

God...give me the strength to live as it is.....

Have I learnt yet???

Thank you for your openness... sharing your deepest facts with me..... you know, lve been there....

Take your time....but can I ask just one thing? one favour? just one.....

that you DO accept you see me as you “sabse achaa dost”....and also as your Bhai”.....you know what...if thats true then i am really lucky....as there are very few who would get that kind of love...

as l tell you this l have lots of tears in my eyes and they are falling.... dont know why.....

l just know that that is the only mistake i can make now.....but i am helpless....i need to see the twilight..

so please, if someone offers you to cheer you up, accept that love and care....coz i am not sure if i would be there to do that...

l can say anything to you, but you may not hear....

l can hear from you: "Move on Niraj" or " Dont be a victim" or " there are so many things in life....

I did ask myself " Do you want love which isnt real, which isnt meant for you?"

" Dont be selfish.... love is not to take but to be given and to give......"

" so your happiness lies in having a partner in your life? you will make yourself DEPENDENT on something or someone else

in order to lead a happy life? you will allow yourself to be an IMCOMPLETE being without the love of a whom you wanted?"

l know you will not hear any of this now....

I want to stay in that dark place because it feels safe and comfortable....

its indeed a comfort zone to be in that pain.... and sadness.... eating you up..... and i don’t know how get out of it....perhaps i wont...

Have you been to the sea? have you been to the forest? and listen to the sound of the waves?

have you allowed the sound of the waves to cleanse you and heal you? or the smell of the woods give you peace?

..... and if you do you feel bit different..... if you dont manage, ask your friends to take you to the nature....

It took me 5 years... to learn to love myself as l am....

As i looked myself in the mirror...It asked me..., where is your smile? a smile is a crown on a person, you need to smile"...

see, l couldnt smile....

Little by little as l took distance from myself.....

But every time i tried...i would get stronger...dont know how...

so l had literally put myself into my grave and covered myself by MYSELF with dust untill l suffocated....

and then l had to dig myself out of my grave...... oke this is all how l felt, not literally.....

.... the bad example of making oneself dependent on someone.....anyone.....

and wanting love that isnt meant for you.....

you know.... till now l didnt know what is love, and when i realise........its not meant for me...

l have to learn to say NO...........

You see, ...l didnt see that it was not real love..... someone who doesnt hear me cry and feel my pain

but lives totally her ways.... that isnt love, but they all want warmth and love in return.... and this can never bring any party happiness....

I think thats why it is so important that you learn not to give yourself 100% till you know someone will marry you.

we have to learn to stay friends.... I also have to learn this......

this has taught me a great lesson........but have i learnt yet?????

A surprise during the Citation

Citation.....and yes It was was a surprise....as i was awarded for being the best performer for last quarter...
Yes it was a bit unexpected...was recognised for the efforts....

anyways the smile wudnt last long....i know i wudnt get what i wished...